Let Go of The Toxic People in Your Life – Before They Destroy You
Today’s podcast (Episode 11) is all about toxic people and toxic environments, and the impact on our mental health dealing with this behaviour day in day out, year in year out. I have divided the podcast and the article into distinct but inter related categories, and tie all of them directly to the experiences of Harry and Meghan and events that have occurred since 2016. I will discuss the main players involved, and in my opinion, I regard each group mentioned complicit in the activities by their silence of their peers and lack of assistance to the two people on the receiving end of this behaviour. I liken it to various regiments of UK armed forces doubling down on the abuse of two people, who did nothing wrong.
The only actions that seemed to have triggered the Commanders in Chief to instruct their personnel to behave in this way, was that the two individuals were competent, and clearly outshone the dried up prunes in their cosplay antics and fake titles. A real offence to the very real magnificent armed forces personnel out there doing a sterling job. When it comes to Meghan, the first and foremost concern for the clear White Supremacist Royal family is that she is a woman of colour, when you add to that skin colour issue for that family, the skillset of competence, academic success, linguistic skills and popular with her colleagues in her profession for over 20 years, and nothing adverse that any of the private investigators who were sent in search of such material, could find on her, ensured that this person who Harry was so proud to introduce to his family, became someone who had to be removed from the family set up, by any means. Princess Diana all over again.
Toxic Work Environments
The Firm likes to refer itself as The Firm when it suits, and likens itself to a business. One we might add that pays no tax, is exempt from key pieces of employment law, but when it needed to exert its perceived strength about its treatment of its only black member of the family, and who was deemed to not be an employee like all the other working members of The Firm, they tried to use employment issues to infer bullying practices. Whilst we are pointing out The Firm’s ‘pic and mix’ to being an employer or a family, let’s not forget that Meghan was refused basic medical assistance, when she asked for help over her suicidal thoughts.
Meghan was told that she was not an employee so was not entitled to medical assistance. Basic medical care, which every person in the Uk is entitled to free of charge. But Meghan was refused on the basis that she was not employed by The Firm, and that it would be embarrassing if she was indeed an employee. I mean, it may just be me here, with my non legal mind and all that, but as I stated, basic medical care is afforded to all here in the UK, and was there not a small matter of a Royal wedding in 2018, where the world watched and the UK made billions off this spectacle of an occasion? We know that despite the law clearly agreeing that Meghan was indeed a member of the Royal family by marriage, the same Royal family made no financial provision for her, and she received no funds for any of the expenses incurred whilst carrying out those same Royal duties that other members of the family, are stated as doing, on paper at least. Clearly these people live in an alternate universe.
I would encourage them to take legal action that their spokespeople were giddy with glee telling whoever would listen, prior to the Oprah interview taking place. Such was their fear or fortune telling skills, along with guilty consciences in full overflow, trying to head off criticism at the pass, before the treatment of Meghan behind palace gates hit the public domain. 5 months later, there is still the odd mention in one of the tabloids, clearly needing a few pennies in their account that day, but the level of noise is much lower.
From my non legal brain, I would have much to say in any legal setting on a number of fronts, and I am 100% certain that Meghan would win every one. Every accusation and every deed claimed to have taken place, and the abuse that Meghan has suffered, and the basic human rights violated, all fall within one of two areas, that this institution claims at various points in their fairy tales, not to exist or be in place. Ie. Being a member of The BRF; being a Senior Working Royal (it must have been a mirage on all those tours and visits then); expected by the Royal Family to be treated during pregnancy by the Royal family medical team; expected to parade outside the Lindo Wing with the latest Royal baby; being expected as part of Royal duty, to parade the first baby of colour outside the Lindo Wing, and even to give the Royal Rota first signs of what shade the skin colour would be, in this Royal family that Meghan was not deemed to be part of anyway, apart from in publicity images which made the BRF look good. Secondly, not classed as an employee either, so not entitled to medical assistance for suicidal thoughts. Passport and credit cards, car keys, Bank Cards removed and kept by Human Resources Department. What for? No legal requirement for any employer to retain such documentation, just a photocopies and stamped with employer stamp and signed and dated that the original of each document has been seen and when. HR does not even need to see copies of such documentation, let alone keep it, for members of the public passing through, because remember Meghan was not family. No finance set up for her, she paid for everything herself. Not a family member either, and her child’s birth certificate had her name removed from it, and only the Duchess title left on this important document. An illegal act by the way, but a way of removing the name of an actual person from their child’s birth certificate. Master and Slave mentality.
HR had frequent conversations with Royal Rota personnel, with whom they shared confidential information about Meghan, including information pertaining to her suicidal thoughts. Royal Rota, reporter is on record (visual and audio) admitting to these conversations – so there is no doubt whatsoever, about a serious Date Protection Breach – whether that be for an employee, or a family member. On the basis that Meghan appeared to be neither family nor employee, then just like in the case of the altered birth certificate for Archie, she was treated like a Royal Slave. Where are all these apparent international Human Rights advocates five years down the line? I see no action being taken yet, and it is well overdue. I don’t expect any UK human rights advocate to step forward, because if they were brave enough to come forward they would have done so already. Everyone knows it would be very difficult for such people to work again in the UK. All I can say to that is, there is an army of legal people right now, protecting and have protected members of the UK Royal family over the decades – so it can be done if they want the coins, but apparently not purely out of principal for abuse being ignored where it is dished out to a non white victim.
UK Monarchy and its paid Associates, are like a set of toxins. Toxins are a poison of plant or animal origin, acting as an antigen in the body. Toxins are harmful substances produced within living cells or organisms. Harmful in large doses to the human body. The term was first used by organic chemist Ludwig Brieger derived from the word toxic. My opinion the actions of the British Monarchy on who they protect and who they throw under the bus, the word Toxic describes them perfectly and their actions against people who are not Stepford like in their clone worshipping style are violated daily by associates acting like Royal toxins on once healthy people, who they hope become so ill, that they are broken or destroyed.
Prepare and Protect Yourself:-
One way as suggested by one of the references sources I have listed at the end of this article is this:-
Document everything you do. Save emails and write down comments and decisions from meetings, phone calls and every person who interacts with you. If you need to file a complaint, you will need the evidence to back up your claim.
Knowing the signs of a toxic workplace and how to handle it will allow you to take your next step on your terms and in your time.
Toxic Family Members
When is it appropriate to cut ties with a family member? Consider a few examples listed below. There are many more contained in the reference sources listed at the end of this article.
- Invalidating or ignoring your feelings
- Creating drama or crises
- Refusing to compromise
- Yelling, cursing or calling you names
- Gossiping or speaking ill of you behind your back
- Making unreasonable demands
- Playing the victim
- Refusing to apologise and if they do, its shallow, coerced or fake
- Lacking genuine concern or interest in you and your life
- Creating so much stress, anxiety and pain that your health, ability to work, or general well being are negatively impacted.
Toxic people rarely change. They lack self awareness and don’t take responsibility for their actions, and since they don’t see how their behaviour hurts you they refuse to change. Instead they blame you and expect you to cater to their demands.
It is not wrong or mean to protect your wellbeing and sometimes the only way to do this is by distancing yourself from toxic people. The bottom line is that for many people the only way to heal is to remove yourself from the abusive relationship. How can you heal if you continue to be abused? Please note that this point applies equally to the UK Royal Family, (for Harry and Meghan as a married woman into that family – despite the tricks played ignoring that fact), the UK Media working in hand with the BRF and therefore complicit, and individually liable for any harm that is identified in any future litigation if things progress to that stage, for individual acts of abusive behaviour and trying to hide behind they ‘were just doing their job’ etc.
Toxic people are dangerous. Dangerous to our inner peace. The trick is to identify them and detach them from our journey to happiness.
Toxic people thrive on drama. It gets them sympathy and it gets them attention. It allows the to manipulate the emotions of the people around them. A person whose psyche is defined by the negative things in their life will only attract more negativity into yours.
This following paragraph is an extract from medium.com (listed in the reference sources) and applies to both sets of families mentioned in this piece. Can you identify at least one from each side of the Sussexes families? I can.
“This behaviour is often learned in childhood, when their Base Line is formed through experiences that teach (or fail to teach) them the empathy that is so basic to our positive development as human beings. As they grow, they miss out on all the great aspects of respect, compassion and kindness. Their hearts harden and their attitudes grow icy and they become unable to look past their own needs and wants.”
“Individuals who are toxic are most often broken people, who look for the kind, open people with the beautiful and transformative hearts they wish that they had.”
When you think of the clout chasers, including the carnival of so called experts, aka clowns, and the unknown children’s authors who felt the need to come out from under their stones, and the clout chasers who were taken from their mausoleums to face cameras and spout nonsense, and let us not the ever growing obsolescence of the Royal Rota (they are attached to the Royal womb like embryos) and as the Monarchy falls in popularity and the questions increase relating to the need for one in a modern society, the same questions will and are being asked about the Royal Rota. Any person seen to potentially rock that gravy train of income, and lifestyle for these adult embryos, or take away perceived income from the otherwise unsold children’s authors out there, some have shown their true colours. I am waiting for all their best sellers to appear now that Meghan has moved on to another one of her many projects lined up. All of these people/groups are very much like toxic organisms.
Toxicity and the Impact on Mental Health
Toxic people are dangerous to our inner peace and they are dangerous to our self esteem. The secret to growth is learning how to identify them and detach them from our journey to happiness. Toxic people take the joy our of work and holidays.
Toxic people thrive on drama. It gives them sympathy and it gets them attention; best of all it allows them to manipulate the emotions of the people around them. A person who is identified by negative things in their life will only attract more negativity into yours. (extracts from medium.com – listed in the references at the end of this article)
Toxic people are obsessed with themselves and think only of their own feelings and opinions, showing little or no concern for others. They have a need to be the centre of attention and have control over the people and situations that surround them. Eg a self centred family member might demand that you babysit their children for free while a self centred box might demand that you work late, regardless whether or not you may have plans of your own with your own nuclear family.
Toxic people deliberately mislead when it comes to telling the truth, and are toxic to our inner peace and mental wellbeing. They make it impossible for us to trust anything that they say. Someone who is comfortable with telling small lies and equally at ease with telling big ones too. They will obscure and even reinvent the truth to conceal their flaws and mistakes.
Have you ever known someone who has an obsessive need to be right all the time? Being seen as wrong by anyone is like a rejection to them, and cannot be tolerated at any cost. These people will argue their point of view until they are blue in the face or buried in the ground. I can think of many examples from all the groups who have been toxic towards the Sussexes and in particular Meghan. If any of them are challenged about their version of the truth, they double down on their story, and their rage in evident for all to see. They can dish it out, as they say, but they cannot ever take being challenged. I am sure you all can think of a few. Seems to be a common trait with all the known toxic individuals and groups who have abused the Sussexes over or during the 5 five year period, and are some are continuing it now even though they are on USA soil. I personally will never stop raising the flag of this injustice with the people and organisations who I believe should know, and are certainly in a better position than I am, of becoming forces for change in the seats of power. I am doing my bit of being a force for change in the sphere of people who have influence and access to far more doors than I will ever walk by, never mind, enter. Everyone is a seed for growth somewhere. We just need to find the right spots to plant ourselves and bloom.
Those people who are constantly stuck in a negative loop, rarely have a kind word to say about others. Most rational people know that there is a mixture of good and bad in people, but toxic people do not view people in that way. It would force them to look deeply at themselves and their approach to life.
Toxic people in our own lives, can sometimes be hard to spot. Ie they can be vile to others but not so evident to family or close friends. Observe the relationships of the people in your life and might just be surprised to realize some motivation you never noticed before.
People who cannot take responsibility for their actions are toxic to our personal evolution and corrosive to our wellbeing.
Toxic people thrive on their ability to control the people and circumstances in their life. It is not a helpful or loving form of control.
I think of the section of the The Me You Can’t See docu series, when Harry spoke about waking up to hear Meghan crying in the night. To this day, I feel hidden tears fall from my soul, when I listen to the emotion in his voice, speaking about the love of his life, being impacted by his family and their associates in the media doing their bidding. Truly heartbreaking footage, and very powerful.
I could write so much more, but that is for a possible future publication, or maybe just one for my children to read of the emotional cycles experienced during many decades on this planet. This quote from one of my reference sources, I think is very apt for this podcast.
“Emotional and physical abuse, criticism, lying and emotional starvation are all signs it’s time to leave someone behind. If you spend your nights lying in loneliness or quiet heartbreak, it is a sign that things have run their course and come to a natural end.” I would say that this statements applies to leaving a situation behind, not just an individual. Whether that be a workplace, or toxic family environment, or even living near to someone who does not recognise boundaries and interrupts your peace, because they can.
I remember something that Meghan said during an interview on the South African tour, where she stated that it was not enough just to survive, but it is important to thrive too. Another quote, “life is not meant to be lived in misery, it is meant to be lived in celebration. As humans we each have our individual needs and we have a right to have those needs met. When we don’t thrive, we stifle the nature that makes us who we are and guides on this path that we call life. Leaving can be hard, but life is lived through connection, not commiseration. When you are starved for intimacy, connection, friendship or kindness: it is time to detach and start living a life filled with beauty and love elsewhere.
Accepting your worth will make it easier to walk away from toxic people. It can be done by keeping a few home truths in mind as we separate ourselves from their negativity.
- Don’t wait for an apology – it is not coming.
- Understand that it is ok to walk away.
- Focus on healthy relationships instead
- Phase out contact
- Stop making excuses for toxic people
- Make your last encounter a brief one
- Give yourself a deadline
- Allow yourself to be heartbroken
Sometimes choosing health and wholeness means cutting out the people who are cancerous to our growth.
- Toxic Work Environments
- Toxic Family Members
- Creating Boundaries
- Cutting Off Toxic Family Members
- Toxic Environments & the Impact on Mental Health.