SGUK 164 (there was a mistake with the numbering
Several weeks ago. Only discovered recently.
Back on track now. 164 is Correct
The Cost of The Crown:
How The Sussexes Built What The Palace Tried to Break
Introduction
It has to be hard when you discover that your own family don’t really care that much about you.. Their interests come first and then maybe you. If it is a family business, the business dominates conversations – not so much family matters. If you were born into the British Royal Family, it probably seems like the pinnacle of life to be able to walk those corridors and know that this is your home. Surrounded by lots of relatives who reside in nearby palatial homes too. What a joy it must seem. You have discovered that there is a pecking order in the family, and your parents do have a favourite. In the case of UK Monarchy, regardless of the actual relationship between parent and child, in an hereditary Monarchy personality and competence do not come into it. The first born child of the Monarch is an automatic Heir and a 2nd and sometimes third child is deliberately bought into the world to support the first born. That is how it is in most Royal families.
As time goes by, if the Heir to the throne goes on to have children, they automatically feature higher in the pecking order than the Heir younger sibling. At this stage the children of the Heir, are higher in the Line of Succession, but not old enough to undertake any duties. As a result the younger sibling of the Heir, is there to do most of the duties, and to be a helping hand to the Heir, whilst the Heir learns the rope of the position that lies ahead and where he/she will be the next King or Queen. Traditionally in British Royalty and a few of the Royals elsewhere in the world, the Heir is never pushed really hard, and if he/she steps out of line, no other relative, or adult at school or university can use any other tone but one of deference to the Heir. Any wrong doings are allocated to the sibling, and the UK press, in particular the Royal Rota Press Pack, will be told that no negative news can ever be published about the Heir and instead, the article if it needs to be written, must name the younger sibling instead. This is how it is done, and younger siblings are used as cannon fodder to protect the Heir. It is of no concern whether or not the sibling is ok with that because that is simply how it is.
It becomes normal for children of Royalty to know that this is how their life is. They may not like it, but they would never question it – after all it is family. What happens, however, if anyone within that Royal family wish to do something that is particularly important to them, such as a particular hobby or pastime, that the sibling may wish to pursue and join in such events in the future. That is the point that most responses are refusals, and on any that the go ahead is given, the sibling can never be too good at it, because it would outshine the future King or Queen. It is requirement that the children do not have independent thought, and must know their place, and understand that they will automatically become the Whipping Boy or Girl for that family for life. What do you do then, if you have met someone that you wish to marry and that they have not come from the usual gene pool that most of the aristocracy choose their future partners? What do you do when you find out how cruel your family can really be, as they put the Monarchy first over and above family? What happens when you decide that you wish to leave and set home outside of palace confines, and at someone in their 30s, what could be the possible objection?
When criticism becomes a daily occurrence, it can be sign that you grew up in a toxic family. When your family members belittle your appearance, or ridicule your choices, it is a painful indicator that they may not genuinely care about your well being.
Some people manage to escape sometimes, and try and build a new life far away from the family living in luxury with a view to keep the business going. That same family will come to learn that by focusing on things that kept them in business years ago, may not be what is required now, and without further investigation, they are burying their heads in the sand, in the belief that they will be fine.
The younger sibling needs to look at life through a good lens – one that suits his eyesight. The strong desire is there to make a new life away from negativity, but yet at the back of the mind is a wish to be able to live far away but be on loving terms with the only family he/she really experienced and understood. Conditions seemed normal life to some, including the siblings. This tussle of views will eventually bring such individuals to breaking point, trying to sit on the fence and wave to family truly believing that they may be annoyed a little, but deep down they love him/she and want the sibling to be happy. There will come a time, when the sibling starts to recognise the signs that most of the family are not fans and there will be tell tale signs that start to be understood by the sibling, and also a recognition that it has been going on for a very long time, and only noticed recently. The timescale was not accidental. The moment the family realised the urge to move away and live an independent life with a family of their own was very strong, was the exact moment when the signs began to be more visible that ever, that the Family Business came first, and duty called, and it would now be a battle between loyalty to the business, and loyalty to the young growing family on another continent and to make a home that was filled with love, not only duty.
8 Signs That Your Does Not Care About You
- Lack of communication: In a healthy family , communication is the glue that holds everyone together. It is how everyone understand each other’s thoughts, feelings and experiences. If a family does not really engage in meaningful conversations or show any interest in your life, it is one of the signs that the family is toxic.
- Constant Criticism: There is a stark difference between constructive criticism and constant hurtful remarks. If criticism becomes a daily occurrence, it can be a sign that the family is toxic.
- Ignoring Your Boundaries: Personal boundaries are like invisible lines of respect. It demonstrates that each family member has their space and autonomy.
- Conditional Love: Conditional love is the anchor in a healthy family. Ie it means that love and support are not tied to conditions or expectations
- Emotional Neglect: Emotions are a fundamental part of being human, and they need acknowledgement and validation. Signs of an unsupportive family may become evident when the emotional needs are consistently ignored.
- Playing favourites: In a family, each member should feel valued and cherished equally. When favouritism enters the picture, it can create a toxic environment of inadequacy and resentment. Never forget that the British Royal Family build this and more into their framework and guide book as to how to live and be dutiful to the Monarchy.
- Isolation and Exclusion: Family gatherings, events and decisions are moments where bonds are strengthened. Being excluded from these moments can be emotionally distressing. If a family does this, ie excludes you from those types of moments, it indicates that the family may not truly care about you.
- Lack of support in times of Need: In times of need a loving family comes together to provide support, understanding and strength.
What Is a Trauma Bond?
Extract. Reference listed below:-
“The term ‘trauma bond’ is very topical at present – but what does ‘trauma bonding’ mean?
A trauma bond is a psychological and emotional bond formed between a victim of abuse and their abuser. The bond itself is unhealthy, the best outcome is to work towards breaking it.
In this article, we discuss what trauma bonding is, the signs, how to break the bond, and how to recover.
What is a Trauma Bond?
Who is affected by trauma bonding?
Although trauma bonding can affect anyone, it’s more likely to develop to the below people:
- A person who has suffered from domestic abuse
- A person who has been subjected to incest
- A person who has been kidnapped
- A person who has been sexually abused
- A person who has been in a cult
- An elderly person who has been abused due to their age
- A person who has been human trafficked
The key signs of a trauma bond
There are two key signs to look out for when considering whether you are in a trauma bond relationship.
The first is whether the relationship is cyclical. You may notice that the person treats you nicely sometimes, and therefore makes it difficult to leave.
The second is that a power imbalance is present. This is when you may feel that the person controls you, or makes it difficult to break free.
Below are also some of the characteristics of a trauma bond relationship:
- You may feel unhappy and not like your partner anymore, but you still cannot end things
- You may feel physically and emotionally distressed when trying to leave
- They might promise to change but make no effort actually to do so upon threats of you leaving
- You may fixate on the good in the relationship, rather than the bad (which often outweighs the positives)
- You likely make excuses for them and defend their behaviour when others express worry
- You continue to trust them and think you can change them
- You protect them and keep their abusive behaviour a secret from loved ones
How can a trauma bond be broken?
Often, if a person has experienced abuse in their childhood, they will be drawn to similar relationships in adulthood. This is due to the brain having already recognised the highs and lows of the abuse.
History of trauma can also make it difficult to break a trauma bond.
You can learn how to stop the cycle of abuse, and the below tips should help.
- Keep track of your feelings: you need to be able to recognise the abuse. Keep a record of the things happening to help you identify patterns and behaviours.
- Seek advice from loved ones: run your experiences by them, and take everything they say in. Your loved ones know you better than anyone and can offer perspective.
- Avoid blaming yourself: you are not to blame and you deserve better. Keep reminding yourself of those things.
- Cut contact: once you decide to break free, make sure you cut all communication with them completely – don’t give them a reason to communicate with you.
How to recover from a trauma bond
Everyone deserves to live a life free of abuse and fear. Now is the time to dedicate your life to you.
Take up some new hobbies, do what you love and what makes you happy.
If you need support, it may be time to consider getting in touch with your GP to discuss some help.
You have the option to refer yourself directly to an NHS talking therapy service without a referral from a GP, or a GP can also refer you.
The NHS advises that the below is what will happen once you have referred yourself:
- Someone from the service will get in touch, usually within a few weeks.
- They’ll ask for more details about the problems you’re having. This is known as an assessment.
- If the service thinks they can help you, they’ll recommend a therapy for you. This is based on your symptoms and how severe they are.
- Waiting times for the first session vary. The service will tell you what to expect.
You can also choose to have talking therapy privately, this is slightly different as you will have to pay for the service. Mind offers a list of useful contacts here.
In addition to talking therapy, you can also look for a local support group. Psychology Today offers a comprehensive list of trauma and PTSD support groups here.”
7 Stages of Trauma Bonding
We as a community have discussed the 7 Stages of Grief Model a few times in podcasts, and we will towards the end of this podcast briefly talk about the 7 Grief Model in respect of The Sussexes – though I do think that Harry is much further behind Meghan in this regard. He has an obvious deep affection for his family, regardless of what they do to him. He is waiting for some kind of miracle, which means he would trust them again one day – sooner than would be considered reasonable, if at all. Each person has to reach their milestones in the way they feel comfortable. No one else can decide for them.
The Sussexes are doing beyond ‘very well’ but I suspect that deep down Harry would love to show his family members what he has achieved, and how happy he is with his own little family. Sometimes you just have to set boundaries and stick to them. Sometimes it is necessary for your peace to block certain out of your life, and move on. I have family members and an old friend, where over the decades, boundaries were cross more than once, and don’t allow a third occasion, and in one case, once was enough. I wish them no harm, but they don’t need to be in my circle ever again. I think Meghan has been able to do that with some of her family, and I understand from experience, that with some people it is necessary for ones Mental Health. I willnever know because I don’t know them, and I don’t need to know. They are just my observations from my limited place of viewing, and experiencing things with a small group of people over the years, that each one needed to be cut from my sphere of friendships.
The 7 stages of Trauma Bond is as follows:-
- Love Bombing – a coercive, manipulative tactic used to gain dependence and trust in a relationship.
- Trust and Dependency: If the target questions the abusers intentions, the abuser will make the target feel guilty for doubting them.
- Criticism and Devaluation: Once the abuser has created a stable sense of trust and dependency, they start shifting their demeanor into abusive behaviours.
- Manipulation and Gaslighting: As the target becomes more entrenched in the trauma bond, the abuser ups the ante into gaslighting and manipulative behaviour.
- Resignation and Giving Up: By this stage the target of the abuse feels emotionally exhausted. The exhaustion forces them into resignation and acceptance of the trauma bond; their emotional reserves are too deplated to challenge the abusers actions.
- Loss of Self: After prolonged gaslighting, manipulation, and other forms of abuse, the target often loses a sense of who they are as a person. Instead, constantly being belittled, and made to feel crazy, worthless, and inadequate, leads them to lose any boundaries they once had.
- After a phase of abuse, the abuser may shower the target with love and affection. Being validated again creates an addiction within the target–they crave the affection the abuser offers.
Once the abuser withdraws affection, the target will do anything to regain their love. The target is now conditioned to endure abuse to regain positive reinforcement.
A sobering thought that some people need to hear. You can’t be best friends with someone who wants you dead.
Where Are the Sussexes at Now after 8 Years of Abusive Treatment and People Around Who Wanted to Destroy Their Spirit or Worse
Over those 8 years I have populated (roughly) the behaviour and attitudes of the BRF and its friends in the media, in particular the Royal Rota crew. Using the 7 Stages of Grief Model as its framework. The last column documents Sussex Successes despite the huge weight of the Establishment and Resources and Public Funding used to try and destroy a family member and his wife and children, merely for exercising free will and a desire to move his family out of a toxic environment, and become self funding. They are to be praised for every single thing that they have overcome.
| 7 Stages of Grief Model | BRF&RRS THOUGHTS ON H&M IN JAN 2020 | BRF&RRS THOUGHTS ON H&M IN JAN 2021 | EXAMPLES OF SUSSEX ACHIEVEMENTS APRIL 2020- APRIL 2025 |
| Denial/Desperate for Answers | Claimed to be blindsided by news (BRF)
“How can this happen?” RRs |
No longer in denial. Strategy has gone – not working. | We believe that philanthropy is not a handout; it’s a hand held. At The Archewell Foundation, we roll up our sleeves and do just that. We consciously partner with key organizations and leaders to identify immediate needs, build meaningful initiatives, and drive long-term change. We are committed to uncovering and resolving the root causes of issues, prioritizing lasting solutions over temporary fixes.
Our work is underpinned by the core belief that mental health and our collective wellbeing are paramount. We prioritize solutions that consider families, youth, race and gender, and strive to find the joy and hope we all share for the future. The Archewell Foundation is a 501c3 and is compliant with all deadlines and measures of the charitable sector and operates with complete transparency. You can view our 990s and annual reports below:
https://archewell.org/impact-report-2023-2024/ https://archewell.org/impact-report-2022-2023/ Archewell-Foundation-Impact-Report-2020-2022.pdf https://archewell.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/The- https://archewell.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Archewell-Foundation-2023-Form-990-Public.pdf https://archewell.org/the-archewell-foundation-insight-report/ |
| Anger | How could they do this? We have been fair to them. What will happen to Sussex Royal Foundation. The behaviour at the Commonwealth Service was deplorable – front of global press coverage. The anger with the Sussexes leaving was clear to see. (ie RRs) | New Life. Put barriers in their way. Tried to control and have input into their business contracts. No success.
Tried to destroy H&M character, then tried to deter businesses from working with them.
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| RR – employed emotional blackmail | RF ie FK & FFK copying H&M. Started deals which RF had prevented them from doing previously. Some deals now questioned for legality. | ||
| Sadness and Bargaining | Realise that they do need Harry but still refuse to acknowledge Meghan. Sadness that Future King and Future Queen Consort, & FFK & FFQC are not popular enough for people to care about the Monarchy. Realise H is needed until Cambridge children are adults. | ||
| Jealousy and Competitiveness | This was a nonsense period. A lot of activity by the BRF re Xmas photos. Usually only publish one. The Sussexes were out of the country and no one knew if they would release an Xmas photo and if so, when. The Cambridges released a few, and the future Heir was seen on film making something to be baked for Xmas. The Queen was present. W & C were in suits. Looked totally ridiculous. George mixing something, and the Queen complete with handbag, was supervising. It was cringeworthy. The Sussexes remained quiet out of sight. Result. RF looked foolish and desperate to be popular with the public. | Media coverage continues on H&M. Way above % time spent on all the others in the BRF combined. Even though they have no direct access, and it is all second hand news for USA outlets.
Every time they write articles on H&M they devalue continuously the FK and FFK. Keading to the very thing they were meant to be avoiding. Ie Obsolescence |
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| Apathy and Anger | RR – “we don’t care. The RF have washed their hands of them” | The hit pieces on M have continued. Daily Mail lost court case against M in March 2021. DM are appealing next month. Openly said if anything happened to M, H will return. | |
| Acceptance | OK, no problem. We have the new Fab 4 V1ie W&C & E&S.
Once again, FFQC has found her voice. Every year for 10 years we hear this phrase |
None of the many variations of the Fab 4 has worked. Tried to push C forward but she is just not up to it.
C is now 100% copying M style of clothing in the belief this will make her more popular??? |
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| Hope | Not there yet | I see no evidence of hope, onl desperation of a PR team out of ideas and still using a Playbook decades out of date.
There is an exercise underway of returning to online articles, and amending them to be less harsh in criticism of M. They seem to forget that nothing is erased on the internet and receipts exist in abundance around the world of the new articles. |
Conclusion
I think the British royal family should just get on with the cards that they have dealt themselves and be glad that the monarchy is still hanging on by a thread. I personally, if given the opportunity to remove the structure of the monarchy, I would vote to do so. The behaviour of people who Harry should have been able to rely on to welcome and protect his wife and son, and now daughter as well, have been behind the abuse. I have gone from not caring about what members of that family did from day-to-day, to now wishing for the monarchy to end based on their behaviour towards Harry and Meghan and their son whilst in the UK, and the abuse continues across the pond onto a different continent, and continuing with the addition of a second child. The vileness relating to the miscarriage in between and the reporting of that was beyond disgusting and toxic. I hope for whatever karma delivers to all those responsible, just from that period of reporting alone, comes back to all of the major people involved in that gutter behaviour. The actions of the Royal family have now ensured that their biggest income generator, and with an admirable skill set, and the experiences between them, caused The Sussexes to walk away . Now they are global icons already. It happened in that short period of time, because most people recognise the skills and the ethics of this couple and the UK lost out because of the disgusting treatment by the monarchy.
The main groups which emerged since 2016 and merged very quickly, have grown over the years – all based on Hate for Hire methodology. At the top of the class are Royal Rota, the media voice in the tabloids for the British Royal family, televised media daily chat shows with invited panel guests, spent criticising The Sussex is for not conforming to patterns of behaviour of the rest of the Royal Family for decades regarded as a failure in duty and therefore a traitor to the UK use all the emotional blackmail and language by saying it doesn’t insult to the Monarch and constant reference to the Queen it would give him decades of service to the UK etc etc. The daily shows always use the same phrases and discuss the same topics on the same couple in my anger other members of the British royal family are seen as innocent bystanders who are disappointed at this couple wanted to be self financing. How dare they. How do they want to be self funding other groups that came out from under their stones over these last few years since 2016. The government need to say no more aristocracy, keyboard warriors daily writing race and hate inciting posts on various social media platforms, without challenge. My belief is that is going to change for a few people, for a few groups I should say, and within that, a number of people in the coming , and over the last few years or so the number has grown or rather it is clear that many individuals set up multiple accounts and post hateful things to give the impression that the number of people out there is high the numbers are not high as the first impression given, but they are becoming dangerous because of the ripple effect of their social media content. It is a drip drip feed of race baiting. Some groups have lost that by the Sussex leaving, not least the British Royal Family and the Royal Rota. Their mission is clear and it is to protect the way of life that they had before Sussex independence, like so many of these movements that develop they are acting from a selfish point of view. They are not concerned about the wishes of individuals It is about serving the collective for the benefit of the groups which benefit from the current system. Anyone who attempts to change the order of things is targeted in order to make them conform. The monarchy is a cult, something that people are born into and they have no say on what they wish to do with their lives, if the individual is high in the line of succession they have next to no freedom of choice. The first born is everything so as I said earlier, and can do no wrong and must be worshipped and subsequent children are created purely to serve the first born, those children have no rights but would have rights if they were born outside of the monarchy. No one is allowed to leave and great pressure is placed on anyone who shows any signs of independent thought. This has been discussed in previous podcasts and the history books are full of suffering of spares over the decades and what life was like being a slave behind the gilded gates – all funded by the UK taxpayer who seem happy to do so in order to have their figurehead family at the helm which nationally represented stability apparently. UN memories of the former British Empire things don’t look so strong now definitely I would say in the last 12 months or so recognition of reality hitting one or two and a few that were on the balcony recently, it gave me joy to see the embarrassment to the establishment. The embarrassment of the monarchy. The whole thing was pitiful and it was an absolute joy to see ‘the left behinds’ on the ‘left behind’ balcony and a few people in the streets, not helped by it being cold. British Royal Family and the groups that I just mentioned all jumped on the hate train. All the time still trying to make money but it’s reducing all groups and that’s how it should be and I hope some of those groups end up at the poverty station. The so called Royalists jumped on the bandwagon and actually forgot to support the family. The royal family that they all claimed that they love so much. Yes, you love them that much the streets seems like the balcony, and the balcony had very very few people. What was interesting was that very very few people tuned in and definitely the rest of the world had got better things to do. That is self-inflicted damage. In the meanwhile the Sussex family are thriving, doing very well. The legacy for the children is secure already. I am sure that the royal rota you should be devoting your time writing fantasy tales about the royal family that exist instead of chasing a couple and their family for information – making it salacious and turning into something completely different. The family who moved away, and who have no time for you and have no interest in you. You are not paid to write about Harry and Meghan. I wish you all the demise that is on the horizon. I really do. The monarchy ignore that it is not as popular as it used to be. It’s sliding into obscurity and the number of people who earn a living because they’re associated in some way with that structure, should be thinking about their future and what they could be doing instead, because the future is not looking bright for them and despite the continuous trickery and lies and just violence coming from UK media, making yourself look like clowns on the global stage. Not even on the global stage more like some backstreet theatre around the corner, but you think that you are global. Your reputation in the global sphere is not good including in the USA. Harry and Meghan I’m doing very very well and every poison arrow you send across to another continent returns back with more speed. What you all send out, always returns to sender. Sussex squad are global – we are everywhere 24 hours of the day and we protect and we have a lifetime membership. Harry and Megan we’ve got your back. We will always have your back and congratulations on every single success you have achieved. We are proud of you.
We are at the end of this week’s podcast. We look forward as usual to your comments, & your views. This is a new series – another mini series of things to do with the Crown activity. Speak to you all soon.
Ivy Barrow
22nd June 2025