Come in No 7 – Your Time is Up

Come in No 7 – Your Time is Up

Introduction

For reference, the title of this podcast is related to the overall theme of this and the following two podcasts, and is based on a British television series from the late 1960s/1970s called The Prisoner. It centred on an unnamed British intelligence agent who is abducted and imprisoned in a mysterious coastal village, where his captors designated him as Number 6, and try to find out why he abruptly resigned from his job. Episode plots have elements of science fiction, allegory ( which means it is literary device or artistic form – a narrative or visual representation in which a character, place, or event can be interpreted to represent a hidden meaning with moral or political significance. Authors have used this approach to illustrate or convey complex ideas and concepts in ways that are comprehensible or striking to its viewers, readers or listeners) and psychological drama, as well as spy fiction. The above description is from Wikipedia. It was filmed in two UK locations, one was at the MGM – British Studios in Borehamwood, Hertfordshire and the other was in Portmeirion, in Wales.

As we work our way through the 3 podcasts in this series, you will see how and where those various descriptions come into play, and you will start to link descriptions with people or situations that feature in the areas we explore. For further clarity, the areas are the golden threads which ran through all 3 sections of Prince Harry’s memoir entitled “Spare”, with emphasis on the two main threads which were the British Royal Family and The Royal Rota. The main point I would like to stress here is that the reason that Harry and Meghan and their children are here, is because of Love. The couple were encompassed with love by their allies, and their allies became the Sussexes angels on earth. The BRF and the Royal Rota were the complete antithesis of that, and their drive to destroy this couple, led to extremely high risks for Harry in childhood, for his time in the military, and when he met his soul mate, her life too became high risk of harm, and along the way, a baby was lost because of it. No amount of attempts to justify any of the behaviour through those 3 sections, and the damage to quality of life and mental health, and a miscarriage, will forever be a toxic stain on those two entities against a couple who shone brighter than the designated ones, and it was considered a crime in the UK, and complete and utter madness and cruelty in decent societies around the globe.

Oh and just in case you are wondering about the Title and its links to the tv series, it is because the main character, like all the prisoners in this fictional village, were given numbers. The main character was No 6, and was referred to in that way throughout. The viewers never really knew who were the good guys so to speak and who were the bad guys. The apparent characters such as ‘prisoners’ were not necessarily the bad people, likewise those who appeared to control the prison and the village, were not necessarily the good ones either. Those descriptions at the beginning relates to different scenes in the series, and considering it was made in the late 1960s, the mind games it played with the viewers continued right through to the end. I watched this series with my parents. I was 12 years of age, and my mind was blown every week. My parents approved of me watching it, because of the way it made your brain work, and I was also studying it at school. In fact when I was at university, a group of us visited Portmeirion and so many scenes from that tv series came back to me immediately. No 7 refers to the 7 Senior Royals named as the latest team who will save the UK Monarchy. 5 out of the 7 are well above or near pensionable age, and the remaining two have limited experience of work projects, and none have yet to be completed in the last 20 years. There is no shining light appearing from these 7, and to think that they objected to anyone shining brighter then them, when in reality, there is no bright light now, and if truth be told, the bulb is barely visible even when the 7 are combined. It does not bode well, and the age profile dictates that nature will occur and exacerbate an already poorly thought out workforce strategy, if one exists at all. There are major issues of age profile and competence, and the latter is not determined by the order of birth. The way to self sabotage the Monarchy, is to introduce the latest piece of nonsense, that the only grandchildren who are to “earn” their right to be called Prince and Princess are the non white grandchildren. If the same test is going to be applied to all the members of the BRF, who by the way live off uk taxpayer funds, but yet the two non white pre school members of the family who are not tax payer funded, but have to prove competence? If anyone is foolish to believe that is a suitable response, then the whole family deserve the tidal wave of legal questions to be answered in International courts of law, not UK ones, that will come their way. There are definitely not any senior Royals who could in any way be described as competent, and most would not be employable anywhere else. There are some in that group who cannot even compete with a 5 year old, on topics which on paper, they are the Lead Royal for on that subject. Be careful what you wish for.

The BRF and its media partners are very similar to the characters portrayed in the drama, and most if not all of us thought certain characters or groups were the ‘bad’ guys, and others were regarded as good upright citizens, but as the story unfolded, and if the viewers took a step back and explored certain events and facts, those designated roles and descriptions of those roles changed for some of us. Much like the Monarchy and its media developing a business model of inciting hatred against two people and their unborn child, and to persuade a whole country to support the top societal groups for the good of the nation, and protect us from people who mean no good to the UK. Increasing numbers of us now realise, there is a lot of smoke and mirrors, and it has reached a stage where ordinary people have developed income generating hate incitement accounts, and which in turn triggers people way down in the societal groups hierarchy to give their all for the country, and do not see their activity as a crime. Those who were and remain responsible for setting this hate train in motion, now stand back and pretend that their hands are clean, but history books will ultimately show the mirages created along the way, and the trail of victims left in its wake.

This has to be called out for what it is, and it will be called out for what it is, and one of the ways which we will cover in todays podcast, is the exploration of Family Businesses, and the following areas of research and discussion. Family Business in this case is the British Royal Family.

Areas to consider, here in the podcast and in the many reference sources listed at the end of the article:-

Transferring power in the family business
Is it time to leave the family business?
Relationship challenges in the family business
The advantages and disadvantages of family businesses
3 Common issues that should be considered for Family Business Succession
Signs Your family business might be unhealthy
Key challenges facing family businesses
Toxic family: 9 signs of a toxic relative
- How to cope with toxic family
Is the family dysfunctional?
- Dysfunctional family dynamics
Should I leave the family business?
Ways to exit the role of the family scapegoat
Big mistakes which destroy family relationships
How gaslighting happens in families. Think here of such phrases like:- “recollections may vary”

Top UK Societal Groups and their involvement in UK Politics

: – None of which are Led by anyone that the UK Public had the opportunity to vote for but all Societal Groups that are not in the Top Tier are impacted by the decisions of a few.

Transferring Power in a Family Business

“For most people, deciding to make a mid-career job switch is not a big deal. But for family members in a family business, the decision becomes far more complex. A critical misstep in communicating your choice can lead to a permanent break in family relations, but paralysis can result in personal bitterness and regret over the career you could have had if you’d chosen a different path”

“The Duke and Duchess of Sussex made headlines when they announced their decision to “step back” from their royal duties in favor of greater independence. While their desire to step away from the pressure of the royal spotlight is understandable, even commendable, the announcement reveals how fraught separation can be. The apparent suddenness of the declaration left the public wondering what happened and what this means for the future of the monarchy. The Queen (supposedly) swiftly responded that the conversation is in “early” stages. And the media was filled with stories of the royal family being “blindsided” by the news and people picking sides. Though the British monarchy may be more famous than most family “businesses”, the issues that arise when a family member decides to leave the business are not unique.

Evaluate whether you share the same vision for the business as the other shareholders. If you’re aligned, you can hold up tough decisions against your shared vision to see if they’re directionally sound. If you’re not, staying at the family business will always be an uphill battle and you may be better off elsewhere.”

Extracts from a Harvard Business Review Publication. Source listed below.

When is it Time to Leave the Family Business?

Compare your vision to your family’s vision: A critical factor in deciding whether a company (your family business or any other business) is right for you is whether you believe in its long-term vision. In a family business, the shareholders formulate this vision jointly. It can be tough to get a myriad of perspectives in perfect alignment, but it’s essential to get the broad strokes right because the board and management will develop the company’s strategy based on it.

Extracts from a Harvard Business Review Publication. Source listed below.

Signs Your Family Business Might Be Unhealthy

Recognizing “Healthy” and “Unhealthy” Family Business Indicators
A business entity is rarely entirely healthy or unhealthy; it may have attributes of each. Generally, a healthy family business is one that enjoys making money together, is without tension, has individuals who trust each other and who make use of one another’s abilities and knowledge. Unhealthy family business situations are when there is no separation of business and family issues, individuals are their “own island” and do not work together, and there is no coordination of family and business goals.

Top 12 “Unhealthy” Family Business Indicators:

Little thought given to succession planning within the family and for business ownership
Unclear family member roles and obligations
Unclear family goals and values
Lack of trust between family members
Poor communication skills among family members and ineffective conflict resolution
Lack of direction and strategic planning for the business
Lack of expertise for the business and the family does it all
Lack of collaboration between and non family employees
A non functioning/absentee board of directors
There is no one to go to, with acumen and insight, for advice and help with key problems
Family issues effect business issues and vice versa
Unclear boundaries between work and family

Checklist of “Healthy” Family Business Indicators:

Family Functioning

Resolution of conflicts with mutual support and trust
Open and clear communications
The family’s ability to make decisions and move on
Family clarity about goals and movement toward them
Good family direction and leadership
Respect of appropriate work, family and intergenerational boundaries
Individuals are flexible and welcome the use of advisors

Business Management

Decision-making based on knowledge and expertise
Balance of responsibility and authority
New competencies and effective behavior developed by organizational learning
Leadership is spread throughout the company and family
Succession is planned early
Efficient use of knowledge to adapt to changes

Governance and Ownership

Clear mission and goals
A functional board of directors with non-family members
A sound plan for succession and intergenerational transfer of owenership

Effective Boundaries Between Family and Business

Consideration of family values in business strategic planning
Both systems use goals and values to steer the course
Business issues are not discussed in the family and vice versa
Mutual learning between systems
Understanding of individual core competencies and that of the business
Porous boundaries and appropriate exchange of information between systems

Signs of a Toxic Family and How to Deal With It

As doctor of clinical psychology previously wrote “A toxic person is someone who regularly displays actions and behaviors that hurt others or otherwise negatively impact the lives of the people around them, and they’re usually the main instigating factor of a toxic relationship.”

As such, we can arrive at a definition of a toxic family, too: A toxic family is one wherein family members regularly display actions that hurt or otherwise negatively affect each other.

Neo adds that it’s important to distinguish being toxic from acting toxic, noting that “the first is when it’s ingrained in our personality, and we actively enjoy hurting others; the second corresponds to aspects of our behaviors.”

In any case, being around toxic people—particularly within your home and/or family—can be detrimental to someone’s mental health. NB Another indicator that Harry and Meghan were correct in removing themselves from that situation in the Palaces for the sake of their mental health, as they stated in their Statement in January 2020.

From childhood onward, being in a toxic environment or around toxic family members will quickly take its toll. According to psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT, it can lead to depression, anxiety, and a general sense of “walking on eggshells” in your own home.

“It can also affect one’s self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-love,” she tells mbg. “And oftentimes, when an individual is in a toxic family or there’s a toxic individual in the family, it’s a highly anxious environment, which affects the way they view the house, their family but also other people and the world in general.”

Indeed, having a toxic family has far-reaching effects, with licensed marriage and family therapist Rachel Zar, LMFT, CST, explaining that it can even go on to affect your attachment style. “Being trapped in a long-term and unsafe environment can have really long-term impact. It might show up in other relationships—you might notice that it’s really hard to get close to other people, that you’re self-sabotaging when it comes to relationships, or you have difficulty trusting others,” she explains.

9 Signs of a Toxic Relative
1. They’re abusive.

Right off the bat, any kind of abuse—physical, mental, or emotional—is a sign of a toxic person and environment. Nuñez and Zar both make this point clear, with abuse being the farthest end of the toxicity spectrum and undoubtedly the worst in terms of how it affects a person.

Nuñez says that anybody who uses verbal words to make another family member feel less than is exhibiting toxicity (aka verbal abuse) and adds that even violent behavior that’s not directed at you (i.e., punching holes in the wall) is still unacceptable and a major red flag.

2. You feel depressed or anxious around them.

Another big tell of a toxic family member or household is how you feel around them. As mentioned, this can include a range of feelings, from depression to anxiety to low self-worth and feeling like you’re walking on eggshells.

“The biggest sign of being in a toxic family dynamic is the way you’re feeling, either when you’re around your family or in anticipation of seeing your family,”

3.They’re always criticizing or blaming you.

If a certain family member is always criticizing or blaming you and never taking accountability for themselves, that’s a sign of a toxic individual. As Nuñez explains, perhaps they’re always playing the victim, they say everything is always your fault, or they avoid responsibility at all cost.

4. They’re manipulative.

If someone is toxic, you can bet they’re going to be manipulative, which can look like a lot of different things. They may gaslight you, guilt trip you, and/or be generally controlling. “If a family member is manipulating or making you feel guilty or bad for not doing something, that’s another characteristic of a toxic individual in a family,” Nuñez explains.

5. Punishment is unwarrantedly harsh.

Sure, discipline is a necessary part of raising children—but when discipline becomes too harsh, it can be a sign of toxicity. As Zar explains, there may be really harsh punishments when you don’t follow the rules, whether explicit or implicit. For example, she notes, you could miss a call from your dad, which leads to passive-aggressive behavior for weeks.

6. The household or family member can be unpredictable.

Zar says unpredictability is another sign of a toxic household, which leads to the aforementioned feeling of “walking on eggshells” in your home. “Everything can be fine and everyone’s got a smile on their face, and then you hit one land mine and everything blows up,” she explains.

7. They’re dismissive of your needs.

Our homes ought to be spaces in which we can be vulnerable and express our needs. If that kind of energy is not present, “and it doesn’t feel like a safe place to ask for your needs and be heard,” Zar says, that’s indicative of a toxic environment and/or family member.

8. There’s a sense of competition.

Toxic families can also breed an unhealthy amount of competition, particularly among siblings. As Nuñez previously explained to mbg, perfectionism can border on emotional abuse, and comparing siblings to each other can have extremely negative effects on children and their self-worth.

9. They’re controlling.

And last but not least, a general theme of controlling behavior, usually on the part of a parent (though certainly not impossible between siblings), is also a sign of a toxic family. This can look like belittling someone’s choices, having unattainably high standards, and conditional love. (Check out our guide on how to deal with controlling parents for more information.)

Signs of a Dysfunctional Family

Addiction

The American Addiction Centre found that about 45% of the US population has been exposed to some form of alcoholism within their family, which translates to about 76 million people and 27 million children. There are many other forms of addiction and addiction can lead to so many different unhealthy relationships among family members.

Perfectionism

Expectations of perfection are wholly unrealistic – they just damage relationships …. as we see in many types of dysfunctional families.

Abuse or Neglect

The difference between abuse and neglect is that abuse indicates active harm like verbal, physical or violence. on the other hand, neglect is inactive harm, either physical of emotional – not feeding your child, or withholding love, interest or attention.

Unpredictability or Fear

It is hard to establish trusting relationships when you live in constant uncertainty or fear. If you are never sure how your parents are going to respond, you constantly anticipating conflict and cant express yourself honestly. Instead you are just waiting for their next criticism. You might even want to avoid such things that should be enjoyable, like vacations and holidays.

Conditional Love

Dysfunctional family members may be incredibly manipulative with their affection, giving love only when they want something out of you.

Conversely withholding love when you do something they don’t like makes you want to constantly please them and doesn’t give you the chance to relax and be yourself.

Lack of Boundaries

Examples of a lack of boundaries:-

A controlling parent who makes life decisions for you and ignores your opinions
An intimidating parent who actively discourages you asserting yourself or even just speaking your mind
Or an older child taking on the role as parent.

No one has their own space, nobody respects each others autonomy. Living like this can lead to unhealthy, codependent relationships later in your life. NB I will touch upon this in the Conclusion and the differences between Meghan and Harry in this respect, purely because Meghan had more time to examine what was going on in the dynamics between them, and I suspect the wedding fiasco was the final cut of the strings. Harry appears to be quite early on in his journey, and the betrayal of his family members, and the salt to the wound, the relationship with the media. I believe that there is very much a presence of trauma bonding here in relation to Harry (which I will touch upon in the closing stages of this podcast) and why I believe it does not really manifest itself so much in Section 2 because of the change of environment and the limited access to family members. I do believe that it features under the surface and is still with Harry every day, but I also believe that being with Meghan, who is so much further down the road in respect to trauma bonding triggers, that Harry is in the right kind of loving family setting to be able to weigh things up in a much better way, based on facts and experiential activities.

Lack of Intimacy

Your family doesn’t show many signs of closeness. There is no honest emotional support and your relations are superficial, rather than emotionally available. Relationships like these makes it hard for your to be close to anyone. You might fantasize about how you will do things differently with your own children.

Poor Communication

There is no sense of understanding between you and your family members, so you cant voice your opinions. There is always tension and you don’t feel safe communicating with them.

NB There is more under each of these headings, and further information on topics I have not covered here. All the above extracts come from the Reference Sources listed at the ed of the article.

Dealing with a Dysfunctional Family

Remember in a dysfunctional family, while none of this is your fault, you might still feel a personal burden. That said, it is not your job to change your family. You can only take responsibility for yourself and your own actions.

Many people grow up thinking that their dysfunctional families behaviour is normal, so the first step is to break the cycle.

Two important steps to processing your emotions around the family and making better choices for your own mental wellness are:-

Being able to notice/label dysfunction behaviour and,
Recognising the stress, anxiety or other symptoms that behaviour causes you.

Trauma Bonding – What is It and Why Do We Do It?

“Trauma bonding occurs when a narcissist repeats a cycle of abuse with another person which fuels a need for validation and love from the person being abused. Trauma bonding can occur between colleagues, family and friends.

Signs of Trauma Bonding

Agree with the abusive persons reasons for treating them badly
Try to cover for the abusive person
Argue with or distance themselves from people trying to help, such as friends, family members or neighbours.

Lots of information in the Reference sources on this subject. Just to bring this particular small section to a close, with recognition of it being a huge topic, but at least I have included it in this Part 1 of 3 follow ups to the Book Review, but using the same 3 section format.

Will trauma bonds ever go away?

“Trauma bonds can linger, even when the abuse happened long ago. You might struggle to stop thinking about someone who hurt you and feel the urge to reach out or try again. Here is a test that might help, though it is not at all conclusive. Ask yourself whether you’d encourage a loved one to leave a similar relationship.”

Conclusion

The British Royal Family focussing on being The Firm rather than a “family” but the flaw with that approach, and there are many, but the issue is that this unelected unqualified group of people believe that they have the ability to run a business, and to go through the motions of recruiting people who can help them in this endeavour to make the Firm seem like a business for the benefit of the nation, when it is a business set up to benefit the family and various generations of it, merely for emerging from various privileged Caucasian birth canals and that in itself them eligible and better suited for it, than the hoi polloi of the UK. The scientific process that focuses on ensuring that the right people high enough in the Line of Succession procreate with someone to ensure the supply chain for older siblings is there if needed. E.g take the blame and punishment for an older siblings deeds, or supply a body part if on the small possibility it would ever be needed, or to replace the first born if a tragedy occurred.

It is unfortunate that this particular group of people, I hesitate to describe them as family, because emotional growth and capacity to show or feel genuine emotion to each other, appears sadly lacking. There is more trying to win at something between each other, and to be the best in terms of statistics, as opposed to realistic measureable outputs, than actual love and affection for each other.

This same group of emotionless humanoids, are no better in business, despite what they think, but they have worked very hard convincing enough of the UK population that they should be revered and bow or curtsy in their presence. It is an outdated and out of place process that requires the citizens of a country to worship any human being by decree, and this practice needs to be abolished as soon as possible. No child should be forced to live within this abusive bubble, not least because they emerge as fractured adults as a result. So, when we talk about dysfunctional families, and emotionless humanoids in the adults of this group of people with eerily close DNA, it has much to do with the abusive childhood that they experienced themselves, but have yet to realise that what they are doing now, is now by a fully functioned adult. It is more like a grown up child, adhering to the patterns and accepted behaviour instilled and imprinted on their brains. They are merely acting the way they have been programmed.

The dysfunctionality of this group of people runs through all 3 sections of the book Spare. Likewise the Royal Rota and the damage they caused in all 3 sections, but I will highlight their part in this dystopian society (created over decades) in the final part of this 3 part series, following on from the 3 part review of the book. I will bring the two golden threads together in Section 3 of this follow up podcast.

I will show how both dysfunctional groups have had a serious impact on the Culture and Reputation of the UK, and if allowed to continue without change, it will erode the already reducing goodwill of the UK which is likely to lead to the loss of Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland over time, and the hit on the economy will be far worse than what is already beginning to create new levels of poverty in a once strong nation. Leaving both constructs to continue with a bit of tweaking here and there, is not an option that should be considered, but with the strong forces operating in the shadows behind these two entities, I suspect that there will be a huge power struggle developing as I type this. Much like the power struggle behind the late Queen I suspect has been happening for over a decade, and definitely in the last couple of years or so. The Bee, The Wasp and The Fly have been putting on a new style Punch and Judy show, and the current Monarch who seemed happy to play along because of the advantages he would no doubt gain by doing so, may fall short of what he may think the future Monarchy will look like and operate. As for the next in Line, he seems to be in love with the notion and the Title and optics. He will be easily led down any path, as long as it does not leave him in the headlights of any topic where he looks not so good. I suspect he will be happy with the 3 winged friends as long as he is thrown a morsel or two, which make him look good in the media. Meanwhile, the ultimate loser in all of this will be England, not the UK as that entity is unlikely to survive or want to survive amongst such practices, that benefit a small part of London, and the rest of the nation will be there to underpin everything and give the correct optics, with a media that will continue to publish articles and books and produce tv programmes with so called experts discussing this and that, to give an impression that is anything but accurate.

The British Royal family have proven over and over again every piece of research into how childhood abuse and trauma carries over into adulthood, and presents in a variety of ways, and can create further issues for others as part of the cycle. The laws of the land do not apply to the Monarch, and to make matters worse, it was decided to make the Monarch of the UK the head of a number of establishments such as Law, Police, Security to name a but a few. As a result of that decision, there are practices that go on within Royalty, and have done so for many centuries, that have gone on without scrutiny, and even if the criminal act is known, nothing is done about it. Abuse being a key prominent feature. Multiple illegal acts involving children over centuries, and no doubt at all over the decades of modern times. There is an obvious reluctance to pursue criminal activity of any kind with Royals other than a Monarch through history too. My strong belief is that everyone should have access to protection under the law, no matter the age, and regardless whether or not you are in the bloodline or married into the British Royal Family. Abuse is abuse, and in the case of abuse of children, royal or otherwise, or by a Royal or otherwise connected in some way, the law currently turns its back. Those children carry that trauma through life, because none of the protection agencies get involved, but they are more than willing to be on the doorsteps of working class people, and have all manner of actions taken against them, and made worse by the fact that those families are rarely in a position to seek legal redress for the actions of the powerful protection services representatives.

Ivy Barrow

5^th February 2023

Post Script:-

The SGUK Podcast Channel International Human Rights campaign, will be adding to our list of examples around the world, of cases where people cannot afford to seek legal redress to secure protection from breaches in their Human Rights. Some Elected Official have systems in place that make it difficult for people who live outside of their state to even raise an issue concerning residents who live in that state. So, this campaign is going to go wider, with both the examples of marginalised groups and individuals, and beyond the elected officials. We intend to approach people who are not afraid to speak up, and speak up I know they will. Children and adults deserve more from the professionals employed to protect them, whether they have funds or not. I am of an age now that I have nothing to lose. This campaign of various forms of Coercive Control Across Borders is about to become ‘Loud’ Just watch. The cycle of abuse from childhood and the trauma into adulthood needs to receive attention in terms of further research and funding, and the time of ignoring the ‘rich folks trauma’ needs to end. Abuse and trauma does not choose its victims by the number of coins you have. Hearts can stop beating at any time in the trauma journey. So, time to be louder in the corridors of international law makers.

Reference Sources

https://hbr.org/1976/07/transferring-power-in-the-family-business

https://hbr.org/2020/01/is-it-time-to-leave-the-family-business

https://curchinfamilybusiness.com/12-signs-your-family-business-might-be-unhealthy/

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/toxic-families

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding

https://apn.com/blog/2022/02/18/how-to-heal-from-a-trauma-bond-relationship/

https://www.saferplaces.co.uk/blog/traumabond

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/trauma-bonding

https://amfmtreatment.com/trauma-bonding-313284/