Karens and Kevins
It never ceases to amaze me how many people spend most of their days deliberately filling their minds with activity relating to someone that they claim not to like very much. Most of their waking hours are spent sitting at a keyboard, or looking into a monitor talking about the target of their ire. The time spent on social media platforms is monitored and recorded, and most people would be shocked to see how many hours a day some people spend creating multiple accounts, and post from all of them frequently. An unhealthy amount of hours, night and day with a few. These extreme cases live and breath their target. I would guess that most of these people who spend so many hours a day doing this obsessive type of activity, live alone. If they have anyone living in the same household s them, they do not speak to each other very often. They appear not to have any social life outside of their keyboards or phones interacting with people they do not know, on the whole, discussing the same person you discussed several times in a day already, and days before and no doubt days in the future. The impact on the physical and psychological condition of your bodies cannot escape from detrimental impact on your health. The anger and jealousy or envy or all 3 of those emotions are eating away at your souls.
If you are one of those who has been successful to earn money from your hate activity, then you have little incentive to stop, I would imagine. Some of you have been at this for 6 years and it has become normal life for you. There are some people behind bars from taking their hate inciting activity to a dangerous level, which could have led to termination of life, by whatever method. Perhaps there will come a time for some internal reflection, and some self analysis.
I cant imagine myself ever choosing that option. I will happily write and speak about people I like to others who like the same person or subject, or book and so on, or even something similar. What I go out of my way not to do, is to ever go looking for information on what someone who I don’t particularly like, or who I have no interest in the same things, because it makes no sense to me. There are individuals and things I truly dislike, so I make efforts to avoid contact or seeing anything about that individual or group. I don’t frequent areas where I know that they socialise, and I don’t look for them on social media. I make a point of blocking such accounts, and I mute a whole host of words that in way, are linked to that individual or group, and I have no wish to see it on my timeline. Between the blocking of an account, and muting various permutations of activities or words associated with the individual or group, from ever appearing on my timeline, I stay in my lane, and go about my business. They are free to go about theirs. I don’t go and look and see what they are posting or publishing. I have zero interest, and none of them get engagement figures from me, because I do not click on anything that they are involved in.
If the person is famous, and I am not a fan as such, then I do even less – not least because they are not in my social circle, and I could care less what they do from day to day. For those famous people who have a large following, I have them blocked and I mute names of places and activities that have been reported previously, in order to ensure that my timelines are not filled with repetitive posts about a particular sporting event for example.
If the person is well known, and has views that I do not share, the person is free to hold those views, but I do not have to hear about them on my timeline, but I have never felt the need to tell the world that I don’t like them either. I see no reason why I would waste minutes of my day, writing something that tells everyone, why I don’t like a person, for example a politician. What a waste of my time. I see no sense in it. All that happens is that people that like that particular person, then bombard those who do not feel the same as them, with why this person is so fabulous etc. So what? Dialogue from either side, and views held, are rarely ever going to change because of the things you post online to each other. If any part of this communication chain says something that I know is incorrect, I could provide a receipt to back up why I say they are mistaken on something, but I don’t, because I do not engage in any conversation in the first place. It is futile to me. I keep receipts to be used in a legal setting if it ever came up. I do not feel the need to play to the gallery, and score points by playing verbal tennis. Life is too short. I also never see the justification to resort to a level of negativity and hate inciting language that could cause someone else to take something posted online, one or more steps further, in going after the target of the initial dislike.
The sheer volume of comments I see on my timeline from others posting something or other, causes me to lose faith in human nature sometimes. I just add names/words to a mute list and move on. There is going to be a lot of work for mental health professionals for decades to come, in terms of the worsening nature and content of single purpose accounts set up to target someone and bring them down in some way. The mental health professionals will need to work with both the victim and the abuser, because both will show the ripple effect of this type of abuse/harassment being delivered online under the banner of free speech.
This is not about agreeing with each other. It is about respecting our right to move around the planet, holding whatever views you hold, without feeling free to act on those views with impunity. likewise social media.
The Kevins and the Karens, who feel bold enough to submit disgusting posts to the podcast channel, clearly are on the extreme end of damaged. Unless you are new, most of you realise that the post will never be published. New people posting such venomous posts, soon realise within a a short period of time that their hate filled post has not appeared. Some of you come back using a different name. It does not matter what you call yourself. You are not as anonymous as you believe. Based on various research papers I have read over the years, posting some of things that some of you submit, seems to give you some kind of high, and when you don’t get the joy of arguing with someone online, you become angrier. I am the last person for you to hope that we will play keyboard tennis. Not going to happen.
Seeing that you all intended for your posts to be available for the public to see, please be aware that your moment in the sun will occur. For the guy who asked me “why don’t you just go off and die somewhere” as you can see I am alive and well. I think you need to speak to someone and try to seek help for your obvious pain. I hope you find the help you need.
The channel is for positive posts only. We do not accept rudeness and incitement of hatred against anyone, and whoever your target for hate is on any given day, it will not be entertained on the channel. Life is too short and too precious to be preoccupied with negativity and the need for you to let someone know that you don’t like them. Go outside and enjoy fresh air and company of people you like. Go out and do something good for the community etc. If there are podcasts that you don’t like, carry on walking by. There is no sense in entering a space to let people know that you don’t like the space that they have created. It is like walking into someone’s home and immediately telling them that they don’t like how it is I styled.
Too much time is spent on activity that is meant to harm another person, physically or psychologically. We are not on a movie set of Mad Max or The Hunger Games, or The Matrix. Be with like minded people, if it makes you feel better to be part of a group, but if you see things escalating to dangerous levels with any member, then remember once it goes beyond laughs and giggles, you are entering a dangerous space. You should not have to measure your worth by the rank in popularity you metaphorically achieve by belonging to a particular group, which could take you into dangerous territory. The target of your hate is most likely unaware of you all anyway, and if it is someone you know, I suspect you would not be posting things on their social media platforms like some of you have done to my podcast channel and others possibly. Evaluate how you are spending your time hovering around various accounts, and the time spent every day, posting the way most of you do.
Let’s have a look how this dangerous game is played with someone you know and why and how.
Hating Someone You Don’t Know
Extract from an article in Psychology Today: Listed in Reference sources below.
Could one careless tweet cost you your job? Are nude photos of you lingering on your ex’s smartphone? Could one angry customer trash your small business?Will a potential romance cool because of what’s been posted about you online? How likely is it that any of that will happen?More likely than you think. In today’s digitally driven world, countless people are being electronically embarrassed every day.Stories of troll attacks revenge porn, sexting scandals, email hacks, webcam hijackings, cyberbullying, and screenshots gone viral fill our newsfeeds.According to a 2017 Pew Research Center survey, 66 percent of adult Internet users say they have witnessed online harassment and 67 percent of adult Internet users under the age of 30 have personally experienced it.Given events like the 2014 Sony Pictures email hack that leaked studio heads’ private messages and the 2015 Ashley Madison breach that revealed the identities of millions of alleged philanderers, it is clear that we are all potentially one click away from being unwillingly thrust into the Internet glare.
And what awaits us there? A nation of finger-wagging vultures who delight in tormenting us and tearing our reputations to shreds or worse—inducting you into the cancel culture.This culture of attacking people with the simple stroke of a keyboard has become much more than a fad. In a 2014 survey conducted by YouGov, 28 percent of Americans admitted to engaging in malicious online activity directed at somebody they didn’t even know.How have we become this Shame Nation, where we are constantly hurling our collective outrage at an endless supply of fresh victims? And is there anything we can do to stop this, before it affects us or the people we love?
And what awaits us there? A nation of finger-wagging vultures who delight in tormenting us and tearing our reputations to shreds or worse—inducting you into the cancel culture.
This culture of attacking people with the simple stroke of a keyboard has become much more than a fad. In a 2014 survey conducted by YouGov, 28 percent of Americans admitted to engaging in malicious online activity directed at somebody they didn’t even know.
How have we become this Shame Nation, where we are constantly hurling our collective outrage at an endless supply of fresh victims? And is there anything we can do to stop this, before it affects us or the people we love?
The Psychology of Jealousy and Envy
Quote from a previous podcast on SGUK on Jealousy and Envy:-
There were many more interesting analogies between the fortunes of a beggar and Bill Gates, and how they were viewed by people in the study, in relation to jealousy and envy. I took from this research the following, and I caveat this by the fact that I have not spent weeks going through this and much more on this area of study, but for the purpose of this podcast and my general interest in the Sussexes, and a vehement dislike of their treatment in the Uk by a variety of groups, I have come to the following conclusions:- In no particular order just as they come to me, as I was typing up the summary research:-
- The hatred and toxic emotions on display towards Meghan from the start in 2016, was resentment of someone outside of the aristocracy gene pool entering into a relationship with the UK’s favourite Prince, and it becoming so serious so quickly, which went against what one so called expert from the Carnival of Clowns KKKlan described as the union being suitable for a fling but not for marriage, and it would soon be over, or words to that effect. In other words, someone outside of the accepted gene pool is fine to be a fling but definitely not for marriage.
- The fact that Meghan was a millionaire several times over, just did not compute in the minds of the racist, and there were plenty of them coming out of the woodwork, in a variety of ways.
- The Acting profession was deemed to be unsuitable grounding for someone to enter and marry into the Royal family, but decades of the Royal family being involved with the industry of sex trafficking and/or sexual activity of children was and still is deemed perfectly alright. A member of the BRF had one of its members, high in the Line of Succession as Patron for BAFTA – a professional body representing the very profession that this same family considered beneath them, and by definition all those who earned a living in that profession.
- The general public, who pay for all of the funding for this family, (whatever the official line given) do not appear to have a problem with this approach. If we take the Bill Gates research analogy, it seems that this family are just so rich and powerful, there is no merit in spending time feeling jealous and envious about how they acquired such wealth, or whether or not their activities are questionable. The UK public seem to be alright with this (well some of them anyway) and the fact that the institution is supported by the Government in the Uk, and the media is only publishing distraction stories for the last five years, and using the Sussexes as income click bait, whilst turning a blind eye to anything else going on in the Plantation Behind Gilded Gates. Seems the general public think that the whole cartel at the top of the societal structure is just too large and powerful to spend time worrying about. The aristocracy will quietly support it as well, because they benefit from the current system, and one small element of that is females within that group are quite happy to be mistresses, or to actually marry someone for the wealth that comes with it. Etc etc. That is a lifetime aspiration among that crowd, and the UK just laps it all up and admires the wealth on display, and only have an issue when someone from a lower class enters the fray. If that person is already affluent without relying on a rich spouse, then that causes hackles to rise, and if the person is a woman of colour, people just lose their minds.
The Damage to the Body Internally of Someone Who Lives and Acts Upon and Communicates Hate Every Day.
One of the reference sources at the end of the article, refers to a study carried out in March 2019, exploring the impact on a group of college students who were emersed into online hatred against targeted inividuals. Measuring the impact, if any, on their physical and mental health. This is one of a growing number of research studies. This example, I hope it leads to a few of those who have been involved in this type of activity for a number of years to reconsider their prime time hobby and look inwards at some of their choices moving forward.
The title of the study is:- Prevalence and Psychological Effects of Hateful Speech in Online College Communities Authors listed in the reference source below.
Source: National Library of Medicine – part of National Center for Biotechnology Information
Hateful speech bears negative repercussions and is particularly damaging in college communities. The efforts to regulate hateful speech on college campuses pose vexing socio-political problems, and the interventions to mitigate the effects require evaluating the pervasiveness of the phenomenon on campuses as well the impacts on students’ psychological state.
Data and Methods.
Given the growing use of social media among college students, we target the above issues by studying the online aspect of hateful speech in a dataset of 6 million Reddit comments shared in 174 college communities. To quantify the prevelence of hateful speech in an online college community, we devise College Hate Index (CHX). Next, we examine its distribution across the categories of hateful speech, behavior, class, disability, ethnicity, gender, physical appearance, race, religion, and sexual orientation. We then employ a causal-inference framework to study the psychological effects of hateful speech, particularly in the form of individuals’ online stress expression. Finally, we characterize their psychological endurance to hateful speech by analyzing their language– their discriminatory keyword use, and their personality traits.
We find that hateful speech is prevalent in college subreddits, and 25% of them show greater hateful speech than non-college subreddits. We also find that the exposure to hate leads to greater stress expression. However, everybody exposed is not equally affected; some show lower psychological endurance than others. Low endurance individuals are more vulnerable to emotional outbursts, and are more neurotic than those with higher endurance
Our work bears implications for policy-making and intervention efforts to tackle the damaging effects of online hateful speech in colleges. From technological perspective, our work caters to mental health support provisions on college campuses, and to moderation efforts in online college communities. In addition, given the charged aspect of speech dilemma, we highlight the ethical implications of our work. Our work lays the foundation for studying the psychological impacts of hateful speech in online communities in general, and situated communities in particular (the ones that have both an offline and an online analog).
Keywords: social media, Reddit, hateful speech, mental health, stress, natural language analysis, college subreddits, situated communities, psychological endurance
Jealousy and Envy
[i]“Jealousy involves fear with thoughts of a potential loss. Commonly jealousy is an emotional reaction activated by the actual or anticipated interest in another person by someone we care about. When a third party threatens the bond that exists in a partnership, we may feel insecure, rejected, worried, angry or self-doubting among a host of other undesirable feelings.”
The person or people feeling jealous, may wish to hurt the person or people who are considered the rival, and behave in ways that will control the person whose bond you fear losing. Such behaviours is done with the aim of breaking up the connection with the third parties or re-establishing the primary relationship.
Any of these activities bring any of the groups to mind? Eg some member of the Royal family, Media – the tabloid press in particular, the So called experts who form the Carnival of Clowns cluster, and Royalist supporters who live and breathe involvement in hateful activity against anyone who is seen as changing the current status quo.
In the first part of this article, I said the following:-
“behave in ways that will control the person whose bond you fear losing. Such behaviours is done with the aim of breaking up the connection with the third parties or re-establishing the primary relationship.” I regard the BRF who were feeling jealous about Harry and Meghan escaping their clutches, and went out of their way for 4 years out of the 5 to break the connection between this couple with the hope that Harry would return and ‘re-establish the Primary relationship’ The inbuilt arrogance that all slaves to the regime, would always consider the relationship with the Plantation to be and should be their primary relationship. It is always disguised as “duty” but anyone born into a group which deliberately created you like a laboratory specimen, to serve the cult, and tell you from the start, that you are there to serve and be a support system to the older sibling, and that you do not have independent of thought, or the freedom to be seen better than the older sibling etc etc, is not duty, that is bondage. Modern day slavery set in an opulent setting, is still slavery if you cannot leave, and if you manage to escape, you are hunted down like prey, like a slave gone bad. That is not a primary relationship, it is not family construct.
The evil thought processes of certain people classed as senior Royals, are beginning to show the physical outward signs of obvious inner turmoil, and it is something that publicly no one seems prepared to say, but from a UK resident perspective, I see it as dangerous and high risk for any country to have any of these individuals representing the UK in any setting. This love of power and status based on genealogy and which birth canal they emerged from, is archaic and no longer fit for purpose. Add to it that the only credible person with skills and empathy with people was forced out of the family and the UK because of jealousy and racism, and now that the void is so obviously growing in negative outcomes day by day, it is pretty obvious that there has been yet another huge mistake made, but because of pride, and the public face that they feel they are getting away with, no one is admitting that the Monarchy is finished. It is when not if. The press now resorting to discussing the merits of a child who is not yet even a decade, as being the next hope. No mention of what will happen in the intervening decade/s with the existing dollar store Royals we have now.
The vast majority of articles published by the BRF own propaganda team is about the Sussexes. The Sussex name in a headline, guarantees engagement and therefore money. If the established Royal family cannot do this, then why are they there?
5 ways to help curb online hate
- Never perpetuate hate or misinformation. Don’t forward, like, or retweet distasteful comments or images.
- Report and flag abusive, mean, hateful content to the social platform.
- Reach out to someone that is struggling. Private message them, even if it’s only a virtual hug. Let them know you are there for them.
- Kindness is contagious. Talk about it with your kids. Read headlines of people doing good things for other people—then get involved.
- Lead by example not only for your children, but for your colleagues, friends, and family.
Always remember, your online behavior is a reflection of your offline character.
Questions to Ask Yourselves or People You Care About in Relation to the Hours in Each Day Spent on Targetted Hate Activity
Social media and mental health: 5 questions to ask yourself as you scroll
Camryn Rabideau May, 20, 2020 reference source listed below.
What was the first thing you did this morning? You probably checked your phone, right?
No, that wasn’t a lucky guess — we start checking our phones from the moment we wake up, and a lot of the reasoning behind that comes down to social media. In fact, a whopping 74 percent of Facebook users check the site daily, and 60 percent of Instagram users do the same. Most people use social media for about 45 minutes a day!
There’s no denying that social media and mental health are linked. These sites have become such a big part of our daily lives that they have begun impacting our emotions. If you find yourself feeling less than stellar after browsing Twitter or Snapchat, ask yourself these five questions to see how social media is affecting your well-being.
1. Am I comparing myself to people I follow?
It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to the carefully curated experiences you see on social media, edited into the most perfect-looking version of what life could be. Whether they’re from old friends on Facebook or “influencers” on Instagram, seeing posts scrubbed of any heartbreak, stress or failure creates an impossible standard that can leave you feeling disheartened about your own accomplishments.
If you ever find yourself in this rut, remember that people tend to post positive things online even when their lives aren’t so picture-perfect. To give yourself some perspective, try writing down a list of all the things you have to be grateful for. You don’t need to post this for the world to see — it can just be a personal reminder!
2. Have I actually been connecting with people?
Social media is supposed to help you connect with others and build relationships. In reality, it can often leave you feeling isolated and lonely. A lot of people experience this.
Instead of browsing aimlessly, try reaching out to an old friend, complimenting an acquaintance’s new photo or joining an online interest group to find like-minded people in your area. Using these sites to actually create real connections can help you put the “social” back in social media.
3. Does this content encourage me to be a better version of myself?
Self-confidence can improve your relationships and work performance, help you overcome challenges and boost your mental health overall. But it can be hard (and sometimes feel impossible) to feel confident if social media is consistently telling you that you’re less than perfect.
That’s not to say that social media can’t help you reach your goals! But if the people you follow make you feel bad about your body, family, job or passions — even unintentionally — it might be time to block them. Too extreme? Try muting or unfollowing them instead. They’ll never know you’re not seeing their posts.
It’s not healthy to expose yourself to negative messages. Instead, seek out people and accounts that encourage you to be the best version of yourself and embrace your unique qualities.
4. Am I browsing when I should be sleeping?
Tell us if this sounds familiar: You go to bed but can’t fall asleep, so you open your phone and start scrolling through Twitter or Instagram.
When you use social media at bedtime, it can negatively affect your quality of sleep. This leaves you tired and groggy the next day — not a great foundation for your mental health. The next time you’re in bed and find yourself reaching for your phone, consider picking up a book instead!
5. How hard would it be to take a hiatus?
Ever reach for your phone after hearing it vibrate just to realize the buzz was all in your head? If you compulsively check for notifications and get anxious when you can’t view your accounts, it might be time to take a step back. Social media “detoxes” can improve your mental health by forcing you to seek connections in the real world.
Taking a break and staying offline for a while can help you prioritize what’s important and properly balance social media and mental health. It may take some practice, but you’re likely to notice a difference in your general outlook and overall happiness after making a few new connections face to face!
Quote from Psychology Today – March 2018 Details listed in reference sources.
We are experiencing an increasing level of hate in our society. Hate fuels the cancerous divisiveness and polarization which now infect virtually every part of our lives. This culture of hatred will have serious effects on both our national and individual emotional, psychological, and physical health.
We cannot be a strong and healthy nation if we consider hate an acceptable aspect of our daily life. Hatred has the destructive power to permanently damage the nation’s emotional psyche and core values.
History tells us how hate can be exploited to lead an entire nation to commit unspeakable crimes against a particular racial, religious, political, or ideological group.
It is time to sound the alarm.
The problem is we know very little about the nature and workings of hate and what we as a people can do about it. While anger can be resolved and fades with time, hate at its extreme is an enduring, inflexible state, an all- consuming set of raw emotions.
If hate is left unchecked, it intensifies from intolerance to a wish to annihilate the other. Hate strips us of our humanity. Hate eliminates the ability to show empathic concern for the injustice done to others. Hate numbs the guilt and shame that we should feel for our prejudiced behavior. Most importantly, it eliminates our ability to understand why we feel this hatred and how to eliminate it by addressing the real issues that gave rise to it.
It strikes at the core of our humanity.
People who hate tend to think, feel and behave from an “in-group” versus an “out-group” mentality. They have no hesitation to stereotype an entire “out-group” (Steward, T. L. et al., 2003). The “ins” use the “outs” as scapegoats for the social, economic, and political woes of the community (Brewer, M., 1999). The “ins” use this as a way to justify the treatment of the “outs” in a degrading manner and to ostracize the “outs” from the lives and the community of the “ins”. In Jane Elliott’s blue eyed and brown eyed study, Elliot et al., 2002 showed that when the blue eyed subjects were severely discriminating and degraded them and made to feel like outer groups in society, it was too much for some that they left the study.
The circus has been in town for 5 years now, with the BRF at the centre, being the Ringmaster. Directing the activities and the timescale for each act to come out and perform, according to the rehearsals which occurred beforehand. Everyone knows their script and when it is their time, to come out and provide distractions from everyday disturbing events. Just like the Big Top, the Plantation setting is disguised as a fun place to be, with much to smile over, and all the while, averting the gaze of the audience on things which really will impact on their day to day lives, and not in a good way.
Every day the general public are attracted to what is going on in the Main Ring that day, and see which acts are out in force entertaining the masses with a fake positive spin. In between each act, the Carnival of Clowns appear, dancing around trying to outdo each other, in the relevance department, so that they will be invited back to perform again. All the Clowns on show, pretend to be expert, but in reality they too are spinning a fictional tale, but it is all dressed up in bright lovely eye catching colours, all speak as if they have Royal blue blood in them because yet they have convinced themselves of that aspect as they have become so immersed in the folklore they tell in exchange for income, that they have come to believe aspect of the lies themselves. The reality is they were hired as flunkys for the BRF and were considered no more than loyal mouthpieces now that they have left the main employ. We know that the people of colour employed in those sacred corridors, are there to do the menial tasks, no matter their ability, as one senior Royal has admitted earlier this week. So the Carnival of Clowns, have been led to believe that they are better than, because of their skin colour, and they have become clone like in their manner of speech, but in reality they are no more than service personnel, who are given the equivalent of golden toilet brushes to use as they clean up Royal mess of one type of another.
This group in particular are definitely full of envy, as they see the Sussexes making a life of a level that they they themselves never dreamed of, and were hoping like all the Royalists, that life would be made so difficult for the Sussexes, by all those performing in the Big Top circus every day, that the Sussexes would return to the Plantation begging for forgiveness. All the power that all these groups perceived they had, was all an illusion. Their biggest mistake, was assuming that they had control over people, and in particular Harry and Meghan and their family. They assumed that living in the Royal bubble was more attractive than having autonomy of ones own life. They assumed that the Sussexes would ignore how they had been treated before and since leaving the UK taxpapyers purse strings, and slave mentality of the BRF, and run back to them each time they needed someone to attract the international press. It is patently obvious that no one outside of the UK, or very few people, and none of influence, is interested in what the BRF do from day to day, and even their own media do not write even 1% of their daily output on the people who they are meant to be putting on a pedestal and convincing the world of their greatness. Instead they are chasing coins, by printing and generating and inciting hatred against a couple who have chosen to leave and be self financing. Only in the UK could this be seen as a dereliction of duty.
As in one of the quotes I use at the end of this podcast, which person would want to be friends with those who tried to cause the end of their life? None.
Harry and Meghan continue as you are doing. The crabs in a bucket on the Plantation and their helpers are all doing enough to destroy themselves.
12 Nov 2022
inc ref from podcast 10 on jealousy and envy:-
[i]Psychology.com Article June 26th 2020
- Nathanson, D (1992) Shame and Pride Affect, Sex and the Birth of the Self. New York
- Harris, C (2003) A review of sex differences in sexual jealousy, including self-report data, psychophysiological responses, internpersonal violence and morbid jealousy. Personality and Social Psychological Review 7, 102-128
- Most, S. Laurencau, J, Graber, E, Becher, A & Smith, C (2010) Blind Jealousy? Romantic insecurity increases emotion induced failures of visual perceptions. Emotion 10, 250-256.
[iii] Independent.co.uk Anaastasia Stephens – 11 Dec 2007
[iv] Ncbi.nim.nih.gov Frontiers in Psychology Study by Vilayanur S. Ramachandran and Baland Jalal